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Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
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