Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize