am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop coming to work sober
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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