i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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