so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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