I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
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