So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize