he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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