well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
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