Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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