So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
You are a genius and a whore.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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