dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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