forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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