I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
try to milk me bitch
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