is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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