I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
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officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
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I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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