the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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