I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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