Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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