You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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