I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize