I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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