Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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