You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
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okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
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So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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