you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize