just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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