Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize