Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
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Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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