i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
foreskin is a definite game changer
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize