Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize