I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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