I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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