I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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