I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
That's how pantless uber rides happen
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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