I am puke
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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