Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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