I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
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