He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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