I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize