I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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