If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize