I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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