How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I smell stomach acid.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I still have a little drunk in my system
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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