There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize