After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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