i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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