Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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