I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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