I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize