i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
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after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
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Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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